Pass The Barf Bag

(I should be ashamed of myself for repeating this one. But I'm not)

I am afraid I could not let this one pass by without letting all of you know about it. Below is a true article that proves that sometimes the news stinks. (Read on, I'll HAVE to comment afterwords.)

FLATULENCE LEADS TO FLIGHT DIVERSION
12/5/2006 By Samuel Shu for The Tennessean

NASHVILLE — Flatulence brought 99 passengers on an American Airlines flight to an unscheduled visit to Nashville early Monday morning.

American Flight 1053, from Washington Reagan National Airport and bound for Dallas/Fort Worth, made an emergency landing here after passengers reported smelling struck matches, said Lynne Lowrance, a spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority.

The plane landed safely. The FBI, Transportation Safety Administration and airport authority responded to the emergency, Lowrance said.

The passengers and five crewmembers were brought off the plane, together with all the luggage, to go through security checks again. Bomb-sniffing dogs found spent matches.

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an
attempt to conceal body odor, Lowrance said. The woman lives near Dallas and has a medical condition.

The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane.

"American has banned her for a long time," Lowrance said.

She was not charged but could have been. While it is legal to bring as many as four books of paper safety matches onto an aircraft, it is illegal to strike a match in an airplane, Lowrance said.

© Copyright 2006 USA TODAY
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Can you imagine this poor ladies' call home?

• "Dear, can you come and get me?"
• "Wow, are you in Dallas already? That is really early!"
• "No actually I'm at the Nashville airport. That isn't too far to drive, is it?"
• "Huh? So your plane isn't continuing on to Dallas from there?"
• "Well, yeah, but they won't let me back on."
• "They won't what!?!"
• "It's a long story."

Here's what I don't get. What is she supposed to do?

I've come up with a great idea. You know they always have those barf bags at every seat. How ironic. You are ENCOURAGED to throw up! But you will get kicked off the plane for indigestion!

So here's my solution. (I usually think of everything)

Next time you are flying and get this queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach, hit the call button and don't ask the crew member for a barf bag, ask them for a fart bag.

Let Me Know What They Say,

-Jack