I Always Fall for Autumn

The Fall season is one of my favorites.

Maybe I like autumn so much because I am an introvert. (It's a great time to reflect on the Summer and get ready for the solitude of Winter). Or maybe I like the Fall best because I grew up Presbyterian. (Presbyterians like to eat). Fall, for Presbyterian youth in my day, meant hay rides and S'mores and apple cider (like Grandma used to squeeze) and with less time for Presbyterian vacations there is more time for Presbyterian church suppers. (but I think there is another post in that topic).

Today I feel the need to discuss the crazy "Reverse Race" that I and my friends play every year at this time. This sort-of-race is what adult men do instead of actually PLAY sports games, because if we actually PLAYED any contact sport, at our age, we would meet immediately after the game at our favorite spot we lovingly call 'the emergency room'. (yet another post for yet another time).

No, instead we play this reverse race that I don't know how it got started. But it goes something like this...

As the weather gets colder in Pittsburgh around September or October every year, there are a group of us men that don't ever want to be the FIRST to turn on their furnaces. There is something un-macho about having to turn on one's furnace before its absolutely necessary. Any sis can turn on their heater the first cool night. But it takes a real man to wake up to a cold house and wait around all day until the house warms up, talking about how much he is saving on his heating bill. Of course we know that our heating bill savings is spent on needless doctor and medicine bills. (not that the macho man ever goes to the doctor)...But that is yet another post for a time when I have LOTS OF TIME to elaborate.

Why is it that nobody in my circle of friends wants to admit that they have turned the furnace on until Christmas? I'll never figure it out. Maybe it harkens back to the caveman days. I bet there wasn't a caveman that would ever admit he didn't smack his cavewoman in the head with a club to woo her. They'd sit around in some bachelor's cave all talking about dragging their mate off by the hair ... when in reality she chased him with a club until he wised up.

But what I know for sure is who will win the furnace wars again this year - my buddy Mark. Now I'd change his name to protect his innocence, if he was innocent, but he's not. He's ALWAYS the last one to turn on his furnace every Winter. Just once I was hoping he would catch a flu early in the Fall and be so miserable he'd have to turn up his furnace. But it hasn't happened yet.

So there you have it. My favorite Fall Guy Tradition. I can't hardly wait for our next big Guy Tradition. It happens at (American) Thanksgiving. We all eat way too much for dinner then fall asleep during the best part of the football games.

Sounds fun doesn't it?

-Jack


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