No, I don't smoke. I never get that hot.

But truthfully folks...

I've never seen the draw in cigarette smoking (pun fully intended). I mean, I was almost sent to the hospital once for smoke inhalation. I don't think I'd want to do that on purpose!

But I can respect the smokers right to kill themselves slowly if they will pardon the fact that I BREAK WIND IN PUBLIC AND BLAME IT ON A BACKED UP SEWER. (Both being somewhat nasty habits)

But this entire nicotine infatuation has gotten clearly out of hand. I've known for a while about this smokeless tobacco designed to be used where toxic smoke is not allowed (only toxic spit).

I've heard about people who paste a patch on themselves when they begin to shake profusely from a lack of nicotine. I've heard of the pills, and the hypnotists that promise to cure you of all desire to smoke as they make you squawk like a chicken for the video tape he sent to the "America's Funniest Home Hypnotists" cable channel.

But this is completely out of hand... NICTINE WATER!?!

So now you can smoke it, pop it, suck it out of a pouch, chew it like gum, wear it, and DRINK IT. What next? Soon you can go into the bar and drink your cigarettes as you smoke a whiskey stick.

My biggest concern is that all of this breaks one cardinal rule of health. And that is this...

If its good for you it tastes bad (ex: tomato juice, lima beans, brussle sprouts).
If its bad for you it tastes good (ex: candy, cookies, cake).

But this stuff TASTES BAD and IS BAD for you! (That's just wrong)

So, next time your favorite cancer-stick-lover can't get away for a smoker's break, just hand them a cold bottle of nicotine. That should quench their addiction.

As far as I'm concerned I have just one thing to say...

Give me a break!

A NON-SMOKER"S BREAK!?!