Times, They Are A-Changin'

It is truly staggering to walk through this world and see all the changes that have taken place in my lifetime. Heck, I remember the day when potatoes grew on farms.

Now I guess potatoes STILL grow on farms. But not the Old-McDonald-Had-A-Farm type farm. Today, I think potatoes grow on a Mega-Business-Hybrid-Type-Mechanical-Migrant-Farm-Worker-Type farm. But they are still just potatoes, right?

No, no, no...... No, Dorothy, these are not those KANSAS potatoes anymore!

Go ahead. Take a printed copy of this article with you on your next trip to the Supermarket (the place we used to call the grocery store, because they only sold groceries). Don't worry what people might think. If they ask, tell them you are working on your doctoral thesis on the developing neurosis of the modern day supermarket shopper. That will shut them up.

Now pay close attention to all the potato clones, hybrids, and androids you see throughout the store. In the canned foods aisle are the baby whole, sliced fresh, cubed red, and the children's cut varieties. (We've only started)

The British call fried potatoes 'chips'. We have our own plethora of tiny, greasy chips of potatoes we call 'potato chips'.

But if only it were that simple.

It is my personal opinion that if potato chip flavors continue to multiply at their present rate, the world will be inhabited by thin, salty creatures of every conceivable color and texture. And the only way mankind can defeat them is to eat them all, systematically becoming obese hereby having barely enough energy but to collapse daily on large living room furniture. This B-rated movie plot (starring no one you've ever heard of before) is called "The Rise Of The Couch Potatoes" (rated PG-13 for random acts of belching)

Need I list them? Potato chips today are salted, unsalted, wavy, kettle (don't ask me), 8 types of barbecue, onion & vinegar, sour cream & chives, lavern & shirley. (so I made that last one up)

Head down another aisle to see the hash browned, scalloped cut, breaded wedgie, and homestyle types. Elsewhere you will find the boxed, bagged, and jarred varieties of good-old mashed potatoes.

No, we are not done with our Potato Safari yet.

Finally, take careful attention as you write down the international flavors including Mexican, Spanish, and (of course) French.

French fries used to be potatoes simply fried French (that is to say in lots of grease). But not any more. Now we have cottage fries and homestyle fries, and burger fries, and waffle fries, and curly fries, and chicken fries, and crinkle-cut fries, and fries cut in the shape of the stars of stage and screen.

So there you have it. This is Western Civilization's answer to the age old question..."What's for dinner?"

But it harkens for me a bigger question.

WHY?

You've heard the saying, I think it was Shakespeare who said it best. "A potato by any other name, but tastes the same." (tear-in-my-eye)

So...
you can have all the modern shapes and flavors, processes and additives.
In my mind...
they will NEVER OUTDO Grandma and a paring knife. ;-)