Birthdays ... Schmirthdays!
Subtitled: Who needs them, anyway!

So what if I have a birthday coming up soon. At my age I can't even see having birthdays anymore. Truth is at my age I can't even see the fine print anymore. either.

But that hasn't stopped me from making a giant list of things that would be nice to get for my birthday. Things, of course, I would never get for myself. Like exotic handrums from foreign lands, and decorated quilts from non-english speaking ladies auxilaries. Or how about fancy jewelry handcrafted by isolated monks that pray good things for those kind souls who will purchase and wear the jewelry as they make it. (A little monk prayers never hurt anyone)

There are some things not on my list for this birthday that I am sure I will still get anyway. Like more wrinkles and less hair, and a greater need to ask people to repeat themselves.

It's not that I am losing my hearing from too many years of rock-n-roll. No it's not that. I find it harder to hear what others are saying because of one simple, irrefutable fact: the world is becoming a noisier place!

It is true that with all of today's new technologies blasting in our ears, it is harder to hear ourselves think. And for some of us, thinking is hard enough!

There are times I can't even hear my wife nag at me to accomplish her entire "Honey, Do" list. ("Honey, do this..." and "Honey, do that" etc, etc, ad infinutum) OK, so maybe that has nothing to do with a noisier world and more to do with the selective hearing I have perfected after so many years of marriage. But I still use "the noisy world theory" with my wife because it still works.

So between all the useless noise coming from all around (including my wife) I have decided there is only one thing to do.

Get noise-cancelling headphones for my birthday.