Who Let The Dogs Out?

Remember that memorable classic of popular music history? Just brings chills to your spine, doesn't it?

I've heard that Barry Mannilow is working on a brand new album to imortalize all those classics of recent American musical history that have been overdone to the point of causing nausea in laboratory rats. Who better to do that than the man who brought us Copa Cabana (the hottest spot North of Savanna, at the Copa...)

Some of the songs to be included are, of course...
Who Let the Dogs Out (Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!)
Feelings (nothing more than feelings)
(Don't break my heart, my...)Achy Breaky Heart
and anything by Micheal Jackson (grab the crotch)
Oh, yeah, and of course the 1960's classic hippie anthem Kum Ba Ya

Not only is a new album from an old artist (who has had more facelifts than Jackson and Kenny Rogers combined) a novel idea, but the marketing campaign is GENIUS.

See, what they plan to do is simply plaster the TITLES of all these songs everywhere they can possibly print them (newspapers, billboards, bumperstickers, T-shirts, the rear end of college girls' sweatpants) and then by SIMPLY SEEING THESE TITLES we will all be reminded of our visit to the emergeny room at the mental hospital the last time we heard them. (or maybe that was just me.)

But anyway, pretty much 100 percent of Americans were at one time or another heard to say...
"If I hear that song one more time.... I will just go crazy!"
Of course only THOSE songs will be included on the album.

Anyway, back to the marketing GENIUS...

When we simply SEE the names of these songs it will immediately cause them to go around and around in our heads. Over and over. And around and over again.

Now, these songs (I have always felt) were actually a communist plot to take over the minds of healthy young Americans. However in the 1990's when the USSR ran out of money, they abandoned the sceme so they could do more humanitarian things like provide nuclear weapon technology to the world's wackiest dictators.

(Now, that sounds like a good title for a new reality shows..."The World's Wackiest Dictators" where they try to pair up the the geekiest world dictators with the world's most beautiful supermodels and.... nevermind)

So, tell the truth. When YOU read the list above you couldn't help but sing those god-forsaken songs as you remembered them, RIGHT?

(Sorry about that)

As you know, these songs are designed to have very memorable choruses, but made so it is impossible to recall the rest of the words.

All across America people will be saying, "I HATE it when this happens!" and will procede to not sleep until they run out and buy the album just so they can sing along with ALL the words as the song rolls around in their head over and over (and again and again).

So I think the newest Barry Mannilow album will be a big hit. If we get lucky, maybe other artists will begin to do the same.

Won't you just LOVE to hear William Shatner singing the theme from Titanic?