SannerSongs

Dobro Guitar

2008-04-12T04:39:00.002-04:00

Many of you know me as a Resophonic Guitar player. I love the Dobro, National, Regal, reso, resonator guitar, resophonic guitar, slide guitar...
...whatever you like to call it.

So, I've written a couple of resources for the reso lover in all of us. And the best, and easiest, place to do that is at Squidoo.

Visit one or both of these Dobro or Reso sites to get today's fix of the slide guitar.
http://www.squidoo.com/dobro
http://www.squidoo.com/Resophonic-Guitar

Watch the videos, leave a comment, bookmark the m, even rate them with FIVE STARS if you choose.

And tell me that I sent you,

-Jack

PS: If you've got a passion you'd like to tell the world about, there is no easier place to do it than at Squidoo. Go ahead, make a lens, I dare you.

Jack Sanner & SannerSongs News

2008-03-14T18:46:00.002-04:00

OK, I've got a problem.

Well, it's not a giant problem but it just doesn't seem to be going away. So here it is.

There are just too many things to do at the Sanner Castle that none of them are getting done.

So, we've decided that for the rest of 2008, i/we/us will:

Unplug the fog machine
Pack up the laser light show
Haul the sound system into storage, and
Give our ears a rest from all the loud concerts.

That's right. In an effort to focus on the recording projects, video projects, and other new projects, we are going to UNPLUG and slow down.

Truth is, we find that our online presence, podcasts, and other recordings are making a bigger impact than expected. That coupled with my personal health concerns and limitations, has led us to at least "take a breather" from the large concerts and rallies, and focus on our in-house projects, as well as the small venue (more local) performances.

So this is good news and bad news for ya'll. It means that we will finish the CDs that are in the works.

THIS IS ONLY A TEST - Caps Lock Praise Band
Verticle Crop Circles - Jack Sanner
Yet Unamed - Heizgott D'Whole World Music Ensemble
Yet Unamed - Finegan's Catch
Foggy Mountain Melodies - Willowridge
Unamed DVD Project - Puppetpourri Productions
and projects for a couple other artists, thrown in for good measure.

So for now, Caps Lock will go Unplugged for the rest of 2008. Also Jack and Willowridge and Finnegan will be booking weekends in tiny venues, as they work on new material. So look for us at coffehouses, churches, (a wedding or two) and house concerts in the Pittsburgh area.

So you can stay in the loop by:

Bookmarking this page,
Subcribe to the RSS feed, or
Favorite us

(Did I mention lots of free stuff coming your way?)

GB,
-Jack

Goodbye, Larry Norman

2008-02-26T22:20:00.001-05:00

.
.
With the passing of Christian Rock Legend Larry Norman...

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.

.

.

I am speechless,
-Jack

See my personal tribute at http://www.squidoo.com/larrynormantribute

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A True Musicians Friend

2007-03-22T04:12:00.000-04:00

Hey, ya'll.

Boy things are really hopping around the SannerSongs Mansion (OK, there IS no mansion, but it sounds good).

Castle Court Improv is gearing up for going video, in a big way.
CapsLockPraiseBand has most of the songwriting & started the studio work.
I'm looking to produce a Bluegrass album for an unamed band, due Spring 2008.
And I'm juggling all this with my teaching schedule!

But the real reason for this post is to make sure you've heard about the BEST place for musical equipment around. It's called zZounds.com.

zZounds offers the widest selection of name-brand insruments at guaranteed lowest prices (I like that, as much stuff as I buy). You can get over 125,000 different products from their website 24 hours a day (or just look around and dream!). Check it out (and we'll compare 'wish lists').

GB,
-Jack

Podcast Alert!

2007-01-30T15:48:00.000-05:00

Just to give all of the "under 21" crowd a heads up...

This Sunday evening, in conjuction with the CapsLockPraiseBand, I am hosting a special call-in podcast with fellow band member Shane Haffey.

This podcast will be a 20 minute topical discussion dealing with teens and peer pressure, and looks like it should be helpful, informative, and more fun than we deserve!

alt="Powered by TalkShoe"/>

So, click the link above for more details,GB,
-Jack

Podcast
Peer Pressure
CapsLockPraiseBand

Just In Time For Christmas!

2006-12-12T09:00:00.000-05:00

The Cat Case ™

------ADVERTISEMENT------

Do you struggle with taking your cat in the car with you?

Do you need a safe and convenient way to carry your cat with you everywhere you go?

Throw away that bulky airline pet carrier. Dump that old cardboard box.

Introducing the new and revolutionary CAT CASE ™!

Yes, now you, too can smuggle your cat anywhere you choose without fear of claws, teeth, or getting caught!

Simply, lay the CAT CASE ™ open on the floor where your cat will see it. She won’t be able to resist the soft, furry, cat shaped interior. When she curls up inside and falls asleep, simply close and latch the case, grap it by the handle and easily carry it where ever you go.

Comes in various cat-loving colors! Perfect for the cat owner who has everything (else)!

Order yours today! The CAT CASE ™ makes a great Christmas gift.

Orders must be received by December 21st, for a Christmas delivery. Cat not included.

------END OF PHONY ADVERTISEMENT------

Now all you cat-loving readers (and net-surfing cats) needn't email me your hate mail, I was only kidding!

Besides, no animals were hurt in the making of this ad,
-Jack

Cat Christmas Gifts

Pass The Barf Bag

2006-12-06T03:16:00.000-05:00

(I should be ashamed of myself for repeating this one. But I'm not)

I am afraid I could not let this one pass by without letting all of you know about it. Below is a true article that proves that sometimes the news stinks. (Read on, I'll HAVE to comment afterwords.)

FLATULENCE LEADS TO FLIGHT DIVERSION
12/5/2006 By Samuel Shu for The Tennessean

NASHVILLE — Flatulence brought 99 passengers on an American Airlines flight to an unscheduled visit to Nashville early Monday morning.

American Flight 1053, from Washington Reagan National Airport and bound for Dallas/Fort Worth, made an emergency landing here after passengers reported smelling struck matches, said Lynne Lowrance, a spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority.

The plane landed safely. The FBI, Transportation Safety Administration and airport authority responded to the emergency, Lowrance said.

The passengers and five crewmembers were brought off the plane, together with all the luggage, to go through security checks again. Bomb-sniffing dogs found spent matches.

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an
attempt to conceal body odor, Lowrance said. The woman lives near Dallas and has a medical condition.

The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane.

"American has banned her for a long time," Lowrance said.

She was not charged but could have been. While it is legal to bring as many as four books of paper safety matches onto an aircraft, it is illegal to strike a match in an airplane, Lowrance said.

© Copyright 2006 USA TODAY
--------------------------------------------

Can you imagine this poor ladies' call home?

"Dear, can you come and get me?"
"Wow, are you in Dallas already? That is really early!"
"No actually I'm at the Nashville airport. That isn't too far to drive, is it?"
"Huh? So your plane isn't continuing on to Dallas from there?"
"Well, yeah, but they won't let me back on."
"They won't what!?!"
"It's a long story."

Here's what I don't get. What is she supposed to do?

I've come up with a great idea. You know they always have those barf bags at every seat. How ironic. You are ENCOURAGED to throw up! But you will get kicked off the plane for indigestion!

So here's my solution. (I usually think of everything)

Next time you are flying and get this queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach, hit the call button and don't ask the crew member for a barf bag, ask them for a fart bag.

Let Me Know What They Say,

-Jack

Thanks Homewood Junction

2006-10-09T12:56:00.000-04:00

What a weekend at the Homewood Junction (PA) Heritage Days Festival last week! That little town does it up big, huh?

And you folks showed up in full force, just to say 'Hi' to that-great-guy- once-you-get-to-know-him Jack.
I lost count after a couple dozen of ya'll that hunted me down to say 'Hi".

And hunt me down you needed to, right? I WAS EVERYWHERE! And what fun we had!

The Living History camp (near the beautiful Buttermilk Falls) was much larger and more diverse that I had thought. It was nice to pick my banjo for you there. (That is when they weren't shooting those crazy musket rifles and scaring this old guy.)

And thanks to all the fine crafters that put up with my dulcimer in the fire hall. I had a great time talking and playing for you.

And I did my share of rambling and roving around, too.

Oh yeah, thanks to the dozens of folks who played 'dueling banjos' with me on that 'stick banjo'. I knew there were a lot of 'air guitarists' around.
But I never knew there were so many good 'STICK BANJO' players around! Good Job!

So thanks to the leadership, police and fire departments, and all the great volunteers of Homewood Junction for putting on another great festival. (And thank the Good Lord for the great weather, too.)

And Thanks For Letting Me Play,
-Jack

PS: Kids, Thanks for helping me have a great time with you guys. Even my dulcimer told me he enjoyed hearing you sing so loud! (not really, I just made that up) And, don't forget to send me those coloring contests real soon!

PSS: You know that little STICK BANJO you all played? I'm thinking about selling it on eBay! What do you think?

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To Pluto, I mean “134340”

2006-09-12T19:30:00.000-04:00

An open letter to ‘The Planet Formerly Known As Pluto’:

Dear # 134340,

I have been truly sorry for your recent demotion from an actual planet in our solar system to a number. I know how you feel.

Everytime I visit my doctor’s office I feel like I am being treated as only a number, too.

But look on the bright side, at least nobody ever tries to give YOU a prostrate exam!

Forever my favorite planet,
-Jack

PS: I called the local planetarium to see if they will give me the Pluto model they have hanging in the lobby. They said they’d get back to me.

Technorati Rules!

2006-09-10T00:52:00.000-04:00

Technorati Profile

Mr. Rogers Taught Me To Share

2006-09-10T00:51:00.000-04:00

"You are my friend, you are special, special to me.
There's only one in this wonderful world...
You... are... Special..."

(now that I have that out of my system)

No, really. I've got to share a couple of comments I've recieved from around the world about the latest instrumental CD 3 Strings. Check out the comment about "The Chieftains meet Yoko Ono" here...

The Official Online Home of Jack Sanner and SannerSongs Music, the Folk Musician, Instructor, Lap Dulcimer Player, Guitar Player, Folk Singer, Songwriter, , and Concert Performer from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, folk music, folk, jack sanner,

I don't know what 'the Chieftains meet Yoko Ono' means but I'll take it as a compliment!

GB,

-Jack

PS: Oh, I remember. Yoko started dating John and that's what broke up the Chieftains. (And you thought I was stupid)

2006-09-08T07:32:00.000-04:00

Musician Wanted

Must work cheap. Must not mind being called a 'Roadie'. Because that what they'll be.

I guess this is what happens when you get old.

I was once an angry young man. (with hair). Not any more.
I was once anxious to learn to play a new musical instrument. Not any more.
I was once willing to drive ten hours to get to a thirty minute gig. Not any more.
I was once a good looking stud that all the women loved. (OK, SOME things haven't changed)

But one thing that has changed is how little I enjoy hauling all that equipment around these days. That, my friend is the musicians curse.

Pack up. Transport. Unpack. Set up. Sound check. Fix crap. (Have too much fun playing for you all). Pack up. Transport. Unpack. Set up. Sound check. Fix crap. Rinse. Lather. Repeat.

So, if you know some (not too smart) young strapping musician-want-to-be that wouldn't mind doing all the work as I get all the fun....

...Let Me Know,
-Jack

2006-09-04T06:40:00.000-04:00

Lap Dulcimer Lesson Available

I truly find the lap dulcimer to be a very beautiful little instrument.

Not only is its unique sound pretty refreshing, it also is very easy to learn to play. So much so, that I'll make you this bet...

I bet I can teach you to play your first song in 10 minutes!

Well, actually, it may take you longer to get the hang of it, but the truth is, I've developed a 10 minute lesson that gives you all you need to know to play the dulcimer, including your first song, in this downloadable 10 minute lesson.

Here I discuss:

Tuning your dulcimer (DAA tuning, if you know what that means)

How to properly hold your instrument

Good Left hand fingering techniques

How to strum for the proper 'dulcimer drone' sound

Understanding the 'D diatonic" scale

Playing 'by ear' tips

'Amazing Grace' (your first song)

Ok, so I talk really fast in order to get it all in.

But this downloadable file (MP3) is permanently on your computer so you can

listen,
tune, and
play along
over and over and over and...

So dulcimer fans, search through the closet for your instrument, order this lesson (below) and get started right away. (if you dare)

GB & TTYSoon,
-Jack

2006-08-25T21:37:00.000-04:00

Clear Your Calendar!

For those in the SW Pennsylvania USA area, I have an event for you to check out this Fall.

Octoberfest is a German tradition dating back 3 or 4 years (maybe longer). OK, so it IS a LONG RUNNING tradition, I admit it! Anyway, there is a tiny little place I know that really knows how to do it up.

I'm referring to Homewood Junction, a little, hidden village just North of PA Turnpike exit 2. (Follow the signs & make the LEFT at the first light.)

Coming again the weekend of October 7 & 8th, these folks are doing it up right. From a pancake breakfast at the Fire Hall, a living history encampment at the beautiful Buttermilk Falls, to plenty going on around the gazebo at the town square (actually a triangle, but who's counting?).

Oh, yes, I almost forgot...

These folks recognize talent when they see it, too. I'll be playing solo every afternoon at either the

craft area or the
living history camp, whichever will put up with me.

Of course I'll bring my

banjo and
dulcimer, and
mandolin, and
guitar, so if there's any song you want to hear...

Be sure to look up our 'Stuff' table in the craft area for the 'SannerSongs-Giveaway-Of-The-Day'. (no hints, just come by & say 'Hi Tina'. That will make her day!)

I look forward to this weekend every year. Lots to do.

Hope to see you there.
-Jack

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2006-07-26T01:21:00.000-04:00

University of HIGHER Learning?

I am afraid I really laughed when I saw this actual internet ad from a certain university that apparently doesn't teach too good grammar!

See what I mean? I hope the staff member who wrote this ad didn't graduate from there!

Or if they did...they should get their tuition reimbursed.

Until Later,
-Jack

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2006-07-09T14:36:00.000-04:00

FREE JUNK MAIL - Sign Up Here!

What a marketing slogan, huh? How about

"Spam Isn't Just For Lunchboxes anymore!"

Or I'm thinking...

"Fill your inbox with useless emails. Act now and embarrassing porn included at no extra charge!"

(Oh, ah... maybe not.)

I remember the days when junkmail was sent in suspicious looking envelopes in your (physical) mailbox. "Only junk mail" Mom would say.

I also remember shortly after I moved out of my parents house. I didn't get ANY mail. I'd have almost KILLED for some junkmail!

Its like everyone I ever knew forgot about me on purpose.
Or maybe they didn't like me any more.
Or maybe they were looking for a reason to lose track of me.
(I don't want to think about it now, it's too depressing)

So times have sure changed, huh? Email has made communication so much easier that I KNOW if my friends are avoiding me. And of course it is now SO MUCH easier for those phunky pharmacists, online nymphomaniacs, and retailers of body part enlargers (both male and female - use your imagination).

What? Its only me who gets this junkmail? Can't be. First of all I didn't ask for it.

Get real! Who in their right mind would sign up for a mailist promoting stripper screensavers? Oh, yeah, please put me on the list to be notified of the latest excercise gadget selling for over $300, please!

No, and I don't think I'd rather be informed about the newest vitamin 'formula' that will increase my stamina, energy, sex life, and make me look 10 years younger without plastic surgery or harmful chemicals.

(Give me a break!)
Truth is... I send it all to junkmail.
Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Goodbye!

Anyway, I got so excited I forgot about why I started this post.
(Oh yeah, I remember...)
...Sign up for my email list by clicking HERE.

Until Later,
-Jack

PS: I just got a really fascinating email from someone in NIGERIA. Something about needing my bank account numbers. (Sounds interesting!)
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2006-06-15T00:43:00.000-04:00

Thank You, thank you, thank you...

I'd like to thank all the little people for this award...

...anyway...

We are all so very excited about the success of Jack's latest album 3 Strings. This week TWO of the songs have reached the number ONE and TWO spots on the Instrumental chart at MyTuneTopia.com.

This is a great surprise & honor for us. Honestly, in such a broad category it is a great honor for a folk instrumental project to do so well.

Thanks to all who have stumbled across this site and put in a good word for Jack and his lap dulcimer music.

In case you would like to visit the site (and rate the songs yourself), visit
http://www.mytunetopia.com
and you will find Jack's music listed as track ID numbers 273, 274, 250, and 251.

Thanks again for all the support!

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2006-04-25T02:04:00.000-04:00

SannerSongs-Dot-Com

SannerSongs.com

SannerSongs.com
SannerSongs.com
SannerSongs.com
SannerSongs.com
SannerSongs.com
SannerSongs.com
SannerSongs.com
SannerSongs.com
SannerSongs.com

SannerSongs.com

(need I say more?)

2006-04-25T00:52:00.000-04:00

Who Let The Dogs Out?

Remember that memorable classic of popular music history? Just brings chills to your spine, doesn't it?

I've heard that Barry Mannilow is working on a brand new album to imortalize all those classics of recent American musical history that have been overdone to the point of causing nausea in laboratory rats. Who better to do that than the man who brought us Copa Cabana (the hottest spot North of Savanna, at the Copa...)

Some of the songs to be included are, of course...
Who Let the Dogs Out (Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!)
Feelings (nothing more than feelings)
(Don't break my heart, my...)Achy Breaky Heart
and anything by Micheal Jackson (grab the crotch)
Oh, yeah, and of course the 1960's classic hippie anthem Kum Ba Ya

Not only is a new album from an old artist (who has had more facelifts than Jackson and Kenny Rogers combined) a novel idea, but the marketing campaign is GENIUS.

See, what they plan to do is simply plaster the TITLES of all these songs everywhere they can possibly print them (newspapers, billboards, bumperstickers, T-shirts, the rear end of college girls' sweatpants) and then by SIMPLY SEEING THESE TITLES we will all be reminded of our visit to the emergeny room at the mental hospital the last time we heard them. (or maybe that was just me.)

But anyway, pretty much 100 percent of Americans were at one time or another heard to say...
"If I hear that song one more time.... I will just go crazy!"
Of course only THOSE songs will be included on the album.

Anyway, back to the marketing GENIUS...

When we simply SEE the names of these songs it will immediately cause them to go around and around in our heads. Over and over. And around and over again.

Now, these songs (I have always felt) were actually a communist plot to take over the minds of healthy young Americans. However in the 1990's when the USSR ran out of money, they abandoned the sceme so they could do more humanitarian things like provide nuclear weapon technology to the world's wackiest dictators.

(Now, that sounds like a good title for a new reality shows..."The World's Wackiest Dictators" where they try to pair up the the geekiest world dictators with the world's most beautiful supermodels and.... nevermind)

So, tell the truth. When YOU read the list above you couldn't help but sing those god-forsaken songs as you remembered them, RIGHT?

(Sorry about that)

As you know, these songs are designed to have very memorable choruses, but made so it is impossible to recall the rest of the words.

All across America people will be saying, "I HATE it when this happens!" and will procede to not sleep until they run out and buy the album just so they can sing along with ALL the words as the song rolls around in their head over and over (and again and again).

So I think the newest Barry Mannilow album will be a big hit. If we get lucky, maybe other artists will begin to do the same.

Won't you just LOVE to hear William Shatner singing the theme from Titanic?

2005-12-12T00:31:00.000-05:00

Everytime a Bell Rings An Angel Gets its Wings!

I'm sending out a special thanks to the R-ACT Theatre Company of Rochester, PA for allowing me to be a part of their annual Christmas Radio Drama this year. I had a great time.

Actually of all the little parts I played, I felt most funny with the Santa role. Not that I'm Jewish or anything, but the truth is we never much focused on Santa as our kids grew up. But since the part was actually Santa in cognito, I didn't have to do any HO-Ho-Ho's. That helped.

Thanks to Larry Spinnawebber for some great playwriting and to all the cast for a job well done. All of you were great to me except the lady that told me to 'break a leg' before the performance. That was RUDE!?!

Thanks also to the Merrick Art Gallery in New Brighton for hosting the performances. And for the great goat cheese on the buffet after every performance. It almost makes me want to get a goat for Christmas!

About this Santa in cognito concept....never mind,
-Jack

PS: I've always wanted to deliver that line from the end of the movie It's A Wonderful Life...

ZUZU: "Daddy, teacher says, 'Everytime a bell rings, an angel gets it's wings!'"

But I got beat out by someone who was much younger and cuter than me... AGAIN! (There's always next year)

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2005-11-12T20:04:00.000-05:00

BON - FIRE! . . . . BON - FIRE!

Special thanks to that great group of youth at the Arlington Ave Free Methodist Church in New Castle PA. I don't know about you all, but I sure had a great time last Saturday evening at your bonfire.

I thought it was funny how you knew nearly all the songs I pulled out for our sing-a-long.
I also thought it was funny that nobody noticed how many hot dogs and S'mores I ate that night. I should be embarrassed (I SHOULD be, but...)

We've got to do this again sometime. I'll bring the music if you bring the junkfood.

GB,
-Jack

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2005-10-31T11:10:00.000-05:00

It's THAT Time Of The Year

I like this time of the year. In my neck of the woods, the trees turn pretty colors, the squirrels collect all my walnuts, and THE KIDS GO BACK TO SCHOOL! (all the parents say collectively..."HALLELUIA!")

Not that I don't like my kids...I do (most of the time), but, I just wish they'd GROW UP.

Really.

Grow up and have kids of their own so that THEY can begin to be paid back for all the (beep!) they put ME through. What my Mother (God rest her soul) said to me when I was younger still holds true... "I hope you have kids just like you!" (I did.)

But now that my college aged youngster is back to the school-of-higher-education-of-her-choice, I am feeling I have a better perspective on things. Except when she comes to visit. (I KNEW I should have spent the money so she could study abroad)

I have recently stumbled across a deep, dark secret known only on American college campuses. This is the secret that colleges all across America DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW! (Are you ready to be shocked?)

The truth is... they do not serve food at American colleges any longer! IT'S TRUE! and I have positive proof with these amazing facts.

1] All college kids complain about the food constantly. It appears the stuff they serve is not actually food!

2] All college kids consistantly are seen at all the local doughnut shops, pizza shops, and convenience stores (and we all know THEY don't serve REAL food).

And the most compelling reason I know to prove they don't serve actual food at American college campuses....

3] All college kids IMMEDIATELY RAID THE PARENTS' REFRIDGERATOR as soon as they walk in the door!

The scene usually goes like this...
Dad: "Hey, look who's home! How are you, dear?"
Kid: (grunt - as they head for the kitchen)
Mom: "So what brings you home?"
Kid: "Nothing" (as they open the fridge.)
Dad: "How is school going this semester?"
Kid: "Fine." (as they make a large sandwich from everything that can fit between two slices of bread.)

Well, you get the idea.

See, if they actually fed our young people in the college cafeteria, I am convinced this would not happen. I am very, very mad about this and I'm not going to take it any more!

Somebody needs to call a lawyer.
Somebody needs to write a congressman.
Somebody needs to buy these kids a years supply of Happy Meals!

What am I going to do? I'm putting a new padlock on the fridge.
One that can't be jimmied open as easily as the last one.

-Jack

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2005-09-11T14:24:00.000-04:00

Great Day!

Just like to say thanks to all the great people at Chippewa Alliance Church for a great end-of-Summer picnic on September 4th. I had a blast.

Thanks to Valerie McCormick (and her husband Mark who built the stage) for such a good job as MC, and for inviting me. Truth is, Valerie, I have to admit that I've never provided music for a watermelon eating contest before.

And the food....
It took me 3 days to digest all that I ate. (Are there still any leftovers?)

Thanks also to my road crew, Madaina and Emily, for your help packing and unpacking. And your presentation was good, too. Also, greetings to The Colpeppers from New Castle, I really loved the song about 'miracles', it made my day.

We'll have to do this again,
(I'll bring the music, if you'll bring lots of food)
-Jack

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2005-09-05T14:45:00.000-04:00

Gentleman, Start Your Engines

OK the Summer is officially over, and with it comes the close of Jack's GAZEBO TOUR. So that means the Gazebo Buck competition begins. If you have attended any of the gazebo shows over this Summer, here are the details to enter the contest.

Send the Gazebo Bucks you have collected at every event you attended, to the address below. The person with the most Bucks sent to this address will be the Grand Prize Winner, and will recieve an official GAZEBO TOUR T-SHIRT from SannerSongs Music.

Or, you can collect the bucks and use them (as $1 discounts that can be combined)to purchase any SannerSongs Stuff (CDs, mugs, sweatshirts, postage stamps with Jack's face, etc.)
Must be postmarked by 9/30/05. Decisions of the judges are final.

Send all requests to:
SannerSongs Gazebo Contest
P O Box 167
Koppel, PA 16136

Good Luck, Ya'll,
-Jack

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2005-08-31T03:25:00.000-04:00

Don't Miss This One

This Sunday afternoon, September 4th, you are invited to join Jack as he celebrates with the Chippewa Christian Missionary Alliance Church as they throw their end-of-Summer bash called their "Block Party".

There will be more than enough food around 3:00,
if you get in line ahead of Jack.

Then around 5:00 Jack will play and sing some music-to-digest-by, performing on his guitar, banjo, dobro, and his lap dulcimer. He will even take your request as long as you request "What A Friend We Have In Jesus".

If the weather cooperates, the festivities will be outside on the church's property, or indoors, if need be. The church is in Chippewa Twp, PA (Beaver Falls area) on 37th St Extention.

So come and bring an appetite for some good gospel music. For more details visit HERE or, of course you can EMAIL ME for more specifics.

(PS: There is talk of a PIG roast...we hope they don't mean JACK.)

. . . If he makes a pig of himself, please pretend not to notice.

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2005-08-29T12:46:00.000-04:00

Sorry, It’s Just Me

My therapist says that I don’t need to apologize for some of the crazy thoughts I have, but sometimes I feel I need to. Like this story.

As you know, I have been running around my local area performing dozens of times in outdoor settings as a part of the Gazebo Tour 2005. Recently something happened that struck me funny. Something I don’t think many other people would have caught.

I had just finished a show at an outdoor community park (that shall remain unnamed) when, before leaving, I decided to make a rest stop. Now when you have to go pretty bad, you can easily understand why they call them ‘rest rooms’ because of the way you feel rested when you are done.

Anyway, the only restroom in sight was one of those temporary port-a-pots. You know what I mean - plastic portable outhouses.

“OK, that will have to do.” I thought. But as I approached, I saw the weirdest thing. Placed along the road on the outskirts of the park, they happened to place this port-a-pot next to a sign that read “NO DUMPING”.

What else are you supposed to do with a potty if you can’t take a dump? The sign said ‘No Dumping’ so I didn’t.

I just went #1! (and felt better afterwards)

,

2005-08-13T20:59:00.000-04:00

Comin To A Gazebo Near You...

The Gazebo Tour Continues!

That crazy Jack Sanner is still sneaking his way all around Western Pennsylvania, Eastern Ohio, and Northern West Virgnia with his dulcimer and his songs. The outdoor concerts have brought him to many places already this Summer, with many more yet to come.

Don't forget to
bookmark Jack's page
for news of the next concert. Also, if you'd like to hear some great acoustic music, and know of an outdoor gazebo that he hasn't found yet, just email Jack with the details at sannersongs@listen.to.

Don't forget to save those 'Gazebo Bucks' you recieved at the shows, because at the end of the Summer some lucky person will be our Grand Prize winner! It might be you. Visit the webpage for more details.

It's better than reality TV and much more fun than a bag of snakes, so look out everytime you see a gazebo, Jack might just be there playin' and singin' and handing out free stuff.

(Consider Yourself Warned.)

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2005-08-10T17:24:00.000-04:00

Here's Your Chance...

Announcing the new GET BACK AT JACK Gear.

Many people have this secret ambition to try to do something that will embarrass Jack Sanner. Truthfully, he deserves some of his own medicine, doesn't he?

So, if you [1] have been one of those whom he has picked on during a concert, or [2] he has stepped on your toes in some of his humor at this blog, or if [3] you think he deserves to be tormented like he does to others...

...Then HERE is your chance...

For a very limited time we have available some stuff which has printed on it what we think is a very incriminating picture of Jack (from a recent photo shoot).

These would be great to be worn to a Jack Sanner concert. Be sure to sit up front just to intimidate him.

The stuff is certainly high quality clothing and stuff, even if the wearing of them may be in bad taste.

To at least see what we are talking about when we say 'Get Back At Jack Gear" go

HERE

or visit http://www.cafepress.com/ssir1

2005-07-20T17:30:00.000-04:00

Oops, My Fly Is Down...

Don't you hate when that happens. Like the other day in my car, I noticed my fly was down. How embarrassing!

Good thing I noticed before anyone else did... or at least I THINK no one else did.

But anyway...
I'm afraid a similar faux pas has happened during a recent website update. SORRY ABOUT THE SITE BEING DOWN and all. Actually, the TRUE upgrade is still coming, but the new look-and-feel is now up on the old server.

So, thanks for letting me know about it. Now everything is up and running just fine.

(So Sorry)
-Jack

PS: Now you can keep close tabs on the Gazebo Tour info and your chance to win some cool stuff. (more details soon... including the new tour T shirt design that I'm crazy about)

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2005-07-14T17:45:00.000-04:00

The Gazebo Tour has begun!

I'm afraid some of the insiders have seen this coming! Look out world, Jack has escaped and is on the loose... And he may be coming to an outdoor gazebo near you!

July 4th kicked off the

Gazebo Tour 2005

for Jack Sanner and his roving lap dulcimer. First some details...

In a personal crusade to further the influence of modern folk music and the Appalachian Lap Dulcimer, Jack has taken it upon himself to do all he can to influence our communities with music. So, armed with his dulcimer and far-too-many-bad-jokes, Jack has begun a clandestine infiltration of secret folk music mini-gatherings.

So, what does that mean?

It simply means that Jack Sanner will be quite busy during the Summer of 2005! The dulcimer album is finished and the temperature is right, so Jack takes to the road (both invited and uninvited) to share the music everywhere he can.

Between his regular scheduled dates, expect to see Jack playing and singing and strutting his stuff (maybe not much 'strutting') at a local outdoor gazebo near you.

The dulcimer is such a beautiful (and portable) instrument, there is no need for all the fancy equipment he used to haul around. There is no need to sponsor such big events in order to pay so many people.
Now, during the Summer of 2005, it will be just Jack and an intimate sharing of a simple and down to earth music. And in many ways, without all the hype and hoopla... it's better that way. (Besides, Jack has a thing for gazebos.)

So stay tuned here for details about how you can see the dulcimer, the man, the legend (a legend in his own mind, at least).
TTYLater,
-Jack

PS: Bookmark this page or search on Google for 'SannerSongs' or 'Jack Sanner' for more details. Also, you can join the email list to keep up with all the latest happenings.

.

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2005-07-08T17:22:00.000-04:00

Last Chance!

Just thought I'd better let you know that the roll out of the new and improved SannerSongs official website is about to happen. So much has changed both on the internet and with Jack and the gang that our online presence had to change, too.

The new web site will be...

Bigger, better, nicer, fancier, sweeter, sleeker, sexier, newer, grander, cleaner, soup du jour.

(Soup eu jour? It rhymes, anyway)

So take one final look at the old website before it goes to Internet Heaven (all good sites go to heaven). And stay tuned here for the big kickoff announcement.

I promise we will make the big announcement just as soon as our internet slaves complete this pyramid of a task for Pharoah Jack. (I have them working day and night for little rations, just to get it done)

Back to reality.... Check back soon,
-Jack

2005-06-19T19:58:00.000-04:00

Michael Jackson Had Nothing To Do With This Message

(This blog entry is brought to you in living sound effects through the brand-new technology known as SFXIYH, which stands for "Sound Effects In Your Head". That's where you read aloud the sound effects found in italics, whenever you come across them. Work with me here. Humor me if you must)

(Stimulating organ music)

OK, so maybe my head is a little thicker than most. (Knock, Knock, Knock!)
Maybe my elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor. (Z-z-zing, splat!)
Maybe my brain is made of baloney... bad baloney. ("Ooo-ooo--ooo!")
Maybe I wouldn't know how many cards are in a full deck, much play with one. ("Whoa!")
And maybe my favorite gourmet food is peanut butter. ("Peanut Butter?")

But I think I finally got it... ("Yeah!")

Enough of you have asked to be placed on my new-fangled, electronic-style, computerized email list to stay informed about all the latest in the world of SannerSongs. ("Tada" in the back ground) You know which email list I'm talking about, don't you? The one that doesn't exist. ("Tsk, Tsk, Tsk")

Well I'm no rocket scientist (Say "That's for sure!") but I can tell when something needs done. So...

Go ahead and add your name & email address to the link on the top left of this page where it says email list. That way you can feel like you are a part of helping an old and crazy man feel somewhat important in a world filled with even crazier men than him. (Did I mention Michael Jackson yet?)

Actually we've always got free acoustic music and other downloads available to the insiders. (Make a little bigger "Tada" fanfare sound) Plus you can keep up with the latest on the humor book, (Another "Tada") and all the latest album projects and such. You'll even know when this site is updated ("Tada" for the last time)

So, enough said for now.

As for stuff in the making, We are writing material for a couple of new projects. One of them will be a children's CD. I've felt for a while that today's young'ens are missing out on what many older Americans have taken for granted in our folk song tradtition. The new album is expected to liven up some old standards, as well as add new music that will stimulate young imaginations. Geared for the pre-adolescent demographic, we expect to release this project by Spring 2007. (So go ahead and have a baby or two by then so they can enjoy this CD).

Also in the works, is the Bluegrass CD Foggy Mountain Melodies, as well as a possible "Live" album that will include some of the humor and down-right-silliness that I can't help but take with me.

(Start ending theme music, on the organ, of course)

Anyway, keep informed through these new email announcements, if you'd like. Or bookmark this site and check back everytime you are really bored.

Until Next Time
-Jack

(Theme music: big ending)

PS: SEE... I TOLD you Michael Jackson had NOTHING to do with this message!

2005-06-09T21:56:00.000-04:00

Chestnut Ridge Dulcimer Festival was...

..a huge success, if I can add my two-cents worth. (this is my blog, so I think I will)

Folks, if you'd like to hear (or learn) the mountain dulcimer or hammer dulcimer or auto harp...

...clear next June's calendar so you can attend the Chestnut Ridge Dulcimer Festival in Greensburg, PA next year. This past weekend's event drew from 12 states and brought in some of the most talented players and workshop leaders from across the US. Among the instructors were Lindsay Haisley, Steven Seifert, Molly McCormack, Susan Trump, and Louise Ziegler, to name a few.

Notable among the vendors there were some extremely nice autoharps made by John Hollandsworth of Blue Ridge Autoharps and some really great mountain dulcimers from Steve Miklos and Carrot Creek Music.

Special thanks goes out to Don and Betty Brinker for hosting this great event. It sounds to me as if you out did yourselves again this year!

Also thanks goes to Karla Armstrong (Karla, I AM gong to get me one of those autoharps) for allowing me to play on Sunday morning.

And to Steven Seifert for the awesome mountain dulcimer playing and classes (and all the one-on-one, too).

A Great Time Was Had By All (including me),
-Jack

2005-05-30T11:48:00.000-04:00

A Healthy Part of a Balanced Breakfast

So, I saw my doctor again recently. It was one of those regularly scheduled appointments (so I can do my part to pay for his new inground pool).

He gave me the normal doctor's lecture about eating healthier, right out of the 2005 Normal Doctor's Lecture Book.

OK, I get it. Here's what I have to do....

1] Eat More Bran. Now, the truth be told, I prefer most of the cereals that are promoted by cartoon characters. But, I haven't yet found a healthy cereal with its own mascot.

To me, these bran cereals have no glossy boxes, no pretty colored flakes, no toys inside, and no taste!

But I guess they are good for me. My doctor says that if I eat my bran cereal it will be good for me in the end. I think I know WHICH END he is talking about, too.

So moving on to the rest of a healthy breakfast...

2] Soy Milk (on my bran cereal) - We all know that soy milk is REALLY healthy for us, but who ever heard of milking a SOY COW?

3] Egg Beaters - That's where they shake the cholesterol out of a chicken to get healthier eggs.

4] Healthy Low-Salt Bacon - I pity the poor pig that had to go on such a low salt diet.

And the final question is this. "What to put on my whole wheat, hard-to-digest toast?" Well, I've found the perfect solution. In the dairy aisle of my favorite grocer I found a pound of "I Can't Believe They Think This Tastes Like Butter". (I think I will give it a try).

OK, enough talk of food, I am getting hungry. I wonder what my doctor is having for breakfast?

-Jack

2005-05-29T23:58:00.000-04:00

To The Dulci-more Festival Folks...

Just a quick note to say thanks to all the nice people I met at the Dulci-more Festival this weekend outside of Lisbon, OH. I met so many nice folks there, and MOST of them could really play, too.

Thanks also to Bill Schilling for allowing me to play my dulcimer for you all. Great job on an AWESOME FESTIVAL, Bill. And also for your work introducing another generation of young people to the enriching experience of American accoustic music through your school outreaches.

And most of all, thanks for all the kind words and support from everone. It's great to still find such nice folks like you around.

Sincerely,
-Jack

PS: Special Greetings go out to "Twisting" Tom Ball from 91.3 The Summit. Tom, I WILL be listening on the Web one of these Tuesday nights at 8:00.

PSS: To Earl Whitehill, I love how you pick that dulcimer. You're one of a kind. Thanks for the lesson... ...and the stories.

2005-04-26T02:30:00.000-04:00

Dulcimer? Schmulcimer!

What!?! You never heard of a lap ducimer before? Well, now you can no longer say that again!

As most of you know, my newest CD is a (pretty large) collection of instrumental lap dulcimer music and is titled Three Strings.

The lap dulcimer is an American instrument originating in the Eastern US region of the Appalacian Mountains of North America. The sound of this three to five-stringed zither often features various modal tunings and drone harmonies.

I actually play the three-string dulcimer, often in a somewhat classical style (if there could be such a style). Also on the project you will hear some of the traditional playing of this unique instrument using a pick to strum all the strings and a noter stick to catch the melody.

Frankly I think you need to hear it to believe it so I've set up a site where you can hear (AND DOWNLOAD) some of this soothing, and refreshing music for yourself.

To hear some of the songs from the project click
HERE
and be sure to listen to one of my favorite (original) songs Pocketknife.

Let me know what you think, will you?
-Jack

PS: the CD is available to ship. So if you like what you hear, go to
http://Listen.To/SannerSongs for details.

2005-04-01T19:01:00.000-05:00

THE SKY IS FALLING! THE SKY IS FALLING!!
(April Fools Day!?!)

Today is the big CD Release day we've all been waiting for! (At least I'VE been waiting for - I'm always glad when a big project is over!)

Ah-Hem! Anyway...

I promised you an April Fools joke, of sorts, and here it is.

As many of you know I have been working on two albums as of late. Foggy Mountain Melodies, the Bluegrass album of original music including the wacky song my wife doesn't want me to sing in public Taking A Ride comes out today. Here's the punchline.

Actually the CD we are releasing today is the instrumental lap dulcimer CD titled 3 Strings. This project has been in the works for a while and has finally come together quite nicely.

To hear one of the songs from the project go
HERE
and click on the song Pocketknife.

Sorry to disappoint some of you about the Foggy Mountain project, but the truth is that I have seriously reduced by activity schedule since my heart attack last November (see you don't have to be old to pay for all the mistakes your Mother warned you about), and frankly haven't had the energy it takes to complete the project. (go ahead, cry me a river)

So not to miss a deadline, we've chosen to speed up the release of the 3 Strings project. Sorry you missed the big release party, but it was only for a few close friends.
(By the way Mr. Trump flew in for the special occasion as did a few of my Hollywood friends like Paris and Ashton and Jennifer and Ernest. ...and then I woke up)

So there you have it. More to come about the 3 Strings albumm, the instrument called the lap dulcimer, and other details to come. (Don't touch that dial!) So check back soon.

I still appreciate the support,
-Jack

You can visit the 3 Strings Stuff Store now, though.

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2005-03-18T22:09:00.000-05:00

Please Don't Hold It Against Me!

But I am working on an April Fools Joke for you all.

Just thought I'd tip you off,
-Jack

(Don't wet yourself when the time comes) ;-)

In the mean time, check out the latest post on my
health and wellness blog,
you might find it interesting.

.

2005-03-05T01:37:00.000-05:00

Great news (for me)
I've just received the news from my internet music provider INTO MUSIC that my Bluegrass album Willowridge Hill has reached the top 20 (download factor) chart. That's really great news considering the project has only been listed there a short time.

* Stay tuned for how you help me even more *

Now, INTO MUSIC allows anyone from around the world to listen to certain songs from the project FREE. These charts keep track of all those that have listened, and then subsequently DOWNLOAD music to keep. (Cool, huh?)

Well, I am pleased to note that over 40% of those listeners chose to download from my site a song or two either free or for a fee. That placed my music at a glorious...

#14 on the entire Acoustic music category this past week! (Impressed? Well, are you?)

In addition to that I ranked #1 in the New Acoustic category for the week! (Must be little competition there, huh?)

I'd like to thank you all for your faithfulness that makes the music possible. Writing and recording and performing is often tough work. But if I can enrich someone's life in the process, it makes it all worth it to me. (tear-in-my-eye)

HERE"S HOW YOU CAN HELP!

Go HERE and listen to a song or two, if you'd like. But whatever you do... PLEASE DOWNLOAD THE SONG 'I'll Go To My Grave (Loving You)' FOR FREE. This will increase the numbers in my favor.

Who knows you might be able to say "I knew him when..."

But seriously, thanks for all the support through all the years.

-Jack

PS: If you forgot where to go, go HERE

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2005-01-30T23:28:00.000-05:00

Taking A Ride In The Country
Here's another sneak preview of the soon-to-be-released album titled FOGGY MOUNTAIN MELODIES. The song we will discuss is TAKING A RIDE.

OK, so I am not beyond tongue-in-cheek humor. So just get over it.

This is a song about a city-boy who loves to get away from the rush hour traffic and escape into the country. Or at least the country of his imagination. Here's some lyrics, maybe you can see what I mean.

I want to smell some manure...some more.
I want all that good old nature has in store.
I want to see some birds... and some bees.
Even if I can't tell the forest from the trees.

But even if the verses are a little wacky the chorus sums it up quite admirably.

Taking a ride in the country.
Let the city see my tail lights for a while.
Saying "Hello" to the country.
Saying "Goodbye, city street signs" with a smile.

Now I feel compelled to warn you that the verses get crazier and crazier as they go along, but we will leave them out at this time lest you begin to think of me as a raving lunatic. (I might rave at times but I'm not a lunatic. Or at least when I ask my wife if I'm a lunatic she reasures me I'm not. She just calls me 'different than everyone else'. I think that's OK. Isn't it?)

So be on the look out for the Foggy Mountain Melodies CD release April 1, 2005. Email me for special pre-release pricing so you can save some money, too.

Will Talk Again Soon,
-Jack

2005-01-20T13:02:00.000-05:00

Sneak Peak from Foggy Mtn Melodies (pun fully intended)

Foggy Mountain Melodies, the newest album from Jack Sanner, will be a refreshing trip across acoustic trails of life's less traveled pathways (Gag, Cough, Snort!) Sorry, there, I just had a mental breakdown and thought I was some advertising executive for a minute. Don't worry, I'm feeling myself again.

Actually I am very happy with this project so far. So before the April 1 release I thought a few sneak peaks might be appropriate at this site. Today let's talk about hybrid songs.

Well, technically a hybrid song is often a rare thing today. But on this album I have decided to rewrite a classic bluegrass song (not that it really needed it) by adding a new chorus.

The song on the album is titled Long Journey Home. You may recognize the old song by that title or by the title Two Dollar Bill.

I lost all my money but a two dollar bill, boys, a two dollar bill.

The traditional song is a depression-era hobo song. It chronicles the life of the train-riding, shanty-living, hobos that traveled America in the 1930's looking for work. Most of these men would perform duties anywhere they could in order to send money home to provide for their families.

The new song takes this pilgrimage idea into a spiritual realm. Here are the lyrics to the chorus I added. See if you can tell what I mean.

Do you remember I said I was a pilgrim
On the day I learned this world was not my home?
I'm just passing through, but it's sure nice to be with you
On my long journey home.

The other (traditional) verses include such traveling hobo topics as watching for a train to ride and also looking out for the impending rain clouds.

But don't worry if you can't recall the original song, somewhere on the CD you will find a snippet of it, to refresh your memory.

T2UL8er (that's 'I'll talk to you later' in hip internet talk),
-Jack

PS: (big announcer's voice:) "Be on the look out for more in this exciting series of SNEAK PEAKS from Foggy Mountain Melodies!" (end of big crazy announcer's voice)

2004-12-16T23:36:00.000-05:00

Coming Soon...

To a CD player near you!

We are working hard to finish the new CD recording on time. "Foggy Mountain Melodies", the newest CD from that-awesomely-terrific-singer-and-all-around-great-guy Jack Sanner is due to release April Fools Day, the 1st, 2005. While some consider Jack a fool even outside of April, none can deny this new project will include laughs and crys from the master songwriter. The CD is 10 of the newest from Jack Sanner all with an American roots slant, best categorized as Bluegrass music.

Jack performs the guitar, dobro, banjo, and mandolin and sings such songs as the heartfelt Angeline and the rousing Taking A Ride In The Country.

Advance orders are being recieved at a strong discount through March 31, 2005. After April 1, 2005, online orders will be accepted for worldwide distribution.

To reserve your advanced (and autographed) copy, email
sannersongs@listen.to for details.

.

2004-12-16T22:20:00.000-05:00

We Wish You A ...

Merry Christmas
We Wish You A Merry Christmas
We Wish You A Merry Christmas
And A Happy New Year

Good Tidings To You And All Of Your Kin
We Wish You A Merry Christmas
And A Happy New Year

We Wish You A Merry Christmas
We Wish You A Merry Christmas
We Wish You A Merry Christmas
And A Happy New Year

(Admit it. You were singing it while you read it, huh?)

May Santa forget he already visited you,
-Jack

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2004-10-12T23:13:00.000-04:00

I Always Fall for Autumn

The Fall season is one of my favorites.

Maybe I like autumn so much because I am an introvert. (It's a great time to reflect on the Summer and get ready for the solitude of Winter). Or maybe I like the Fall best because I grew up Presbyterian. (Presbyterians like to eat). Fall, for Presbyterian youth in my day, meant hay rides and S'mores and apple cider (like Grandma used to squeeze) and with less time for Presbyterian vacations there is more time for Presbyterian church suppers. (but I think there is another post in that topic).

Today I feel the need to discuss the crazy "Reverse Race" that I and my friends play every year at this time. This sort-of-race is what adult men do instead of actually PLAY sports games, because if we actually PLAYED any contact sport, at our age, we would meet immediately after the game at our favorite spot we lovingly call 'the emergency room'. (yet another post for yet another time).

No, instead we play this reverse race that I don't know how it got started. But it goes something like this...

As the weather gets colder in Pittsburgh around September or October every year, there are a group of us men that don't ever want to be the FIRST to turn on their furnaces. There is something un-macho about having to turn on one's furnace before its absolutely necessary. Any sis can turn on their heater the first cool night. But it takes a real man to wake up to a cold house and wait around all day until the house warms up, talking about how much he is saving on his heating bill. Of course we know that our heating bill savings is spent on needless doctor and medicine bills. (not that the macho man ever goes to the doctor)...But that is yet another post for a time when I have LOTS OF TIME to elaborate.

Why is it that nobody in my circle of friends wants to admit that they have turned the furnace on until Christmas? I'll never figure it out. Maybe it harkens back to the caveman days. I bet there wasn't a caveman that would ever admit he didn't smack his cavewoman in the head with a club to woo her. They'd sit around in some bachelor's cave all talking about dragging their mate off by the hair ... when in reality she chased him with a club until he wised up.

But what I know for sure is who will win the furnace wars again this year - my buddy Mark. Now I'd change his name to protect his innocence, if he was innocent, but he's not. He's ALWAYS the last one to turn on his furnace every Winter. Just once I was hoping he would catch a flu early in the Fall and be so miserable he'd have to turn up his furnace. But it hasn't happened yet.

So there you have it. My favorite Fall Guy Tradition. I can't hardly wait for our next big Guy Tradition. It happens at (American) Thanksgiving. We all eat way too much for dinner then fall asleep during the best part of the football games.

Sounds fun doesn't it?

-Jack

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2004-09-25T23:46:00.000-04:00

FREE FOOD? I'm There!

Just a post to say THANKS to all the nice people at the Church of Grace and Glory for cutting me loose at their awesome picnic on September 5th.

I hope everyone enjoyed all the music and the little bit of Dobro I played.

My family and I had a great time and look forward to all that will happen on the hill you've just purchased. I get the impression that Pittsburgh will never be the same once that new building is built and you really get things going there.

-Jack

PS: The food was too good!

2004-09-25T20:52:00.000-04:00

Times, They Are A-Changin'

It is truly staggering to walk through this world and see all the changes that have taken place in my lifetime. Heck, I remember the day when potatoes grew on farms.

Now I guess potatoes STILL grow on farms. But not the Old-McDonald-Had-A-Farm type farm. Today, I think potatoes grow on a Mega-Business-Hybrid-Type-Mechanical-Migrant-Farm-Worker-Type farm. But they are still just potatoes, right?

No, no, no...... No, Dorothy, these are not those KANSAS potatoes anymore!

Go ahead. Take a printed copy of this article with you on your next trip to the Supermarket (the place we used to call the grocery store, because they only sold groceries). Don't worry what people might think. If they ask, tell them you are working on your doctoral thesis on the developing neurosis of the modern day supermarket shopper. That will shut them up.

Now pay close attention to all the potato clones, hybrids, and androids you see throughout the store. In the canned foods aisle are the baby whole, sliced fresh, cubed red, and the children's cut varieties. (We've only started)

The British call fried potatoes 'chips'. We have our own plethora of tiny, greasy chips of potatoes we call 'potato chips'.

But if only it were that simple.

It is my personal opinion that if potato chip flavors continue to multiply at their present rate, the world will be inhabited by thin, salty creatures of every conceivable color and texture. And the only way mankind can defeat them is to eat them all, systematically becoming obese hereby having barely enough energy but to collapse daily on large living room furniture. This B-rated movie plot (starring no one you've ever heard of before) is called "The Rise Of The Couch Potatoes" (rated PG-13 for random acts of belching)

Need I list them? Potato chips today are salted, unsalted, wavy, kettle (don't ask me), 8 types of barbecue, onion & vinegar, sour cream & chives, lavern & shirley. (so I made that last one up)

Head down another aisle to see the hash browned, scalloped cut, breaded wedgie, and homestyle types. Elsewhere you will find the boxed, bagged, and jarred varieties of good-old mashed potatoes.

No, we are not done with our Potato Safari yet.

Finally, take careful attention as you write down the international flavors including Mexican, Spanish, and (of course) French.

French fries used to be potatoes simply fried French (that is to say in lots of grease). But not any more. Now we have cottage fries and homestyle fries, and burger fries, and waffle fries, and curly fries, and chicken fries, and crinkle-cut fries, and fries cut in the shape of the stars of stage and screen.

So there you have it. This is Western Civilization's answer to the age old question..."What's for dinner?"

But it harkens for me a bigger question.

WHY?

You've heard the saying, I think it was Shakespeare who said it best. "A potato by any other name, but tastes the same." (tear-in-my-eye)

So...
you can have all the modern shapes and flavors, processes and additives.
In my mind...
they will NEVER OUTDO Grandma and a paring knife. ;-)

2004-03-05T03:34:00.000-05:00

The Epilogue on Getting Older

There are some advantages to getting old. At least someone told me that once. But they were kind of old at the time. But today, I can't think of any advantages, though. I remembered one that I forgot. But then I forgot that I had even remembered it.
Oh, yes, I remember...

The best part of growing old is all the things you learn along the way. Here is a partial list of what I have learned in my eight scores upon this globe.

There is no such thing as EXTRA CHEESE. (they charge you for it, but you can never find on your pizza)

God made only a few beautiful heads. The rest have hair.

Nobody really means it when they say "Fine" (When asked how they are, most would find it more appropriate to say "You don't want to know.")

The dogs are the boys and the cats are the girls. (Not really, I just threw that one in to see if you were paying attention)

So there you have it. A collection of things (that may even border on wisdom) from the melancholy birthday-boy-to-be. Honestly there should be a law against any birthday after 29.

Oh, yes. There is ONE more thing I can find positive about birthdays.

CAKE C A K E C A K E C A K E C A K E C A K E

2004-03-05T03:26:00.000-05:00

Birthdays ... Schmirthdays!
Subtitled: Who needs them, anyway!

So what if I have a birthday coming up soon. At my age I can't even see having birthdays anymore. Truth is at my age I can't even see the fine print anymore. either.

But that hasn't stopped me from making a giant list of things that would be nice to get for my birthday. Things, of course, I would never get for myself. Like exotic handrums from foreign lands, and decorated quilts from non-english speaking ladies auxilaries. Or how about fancy jewelry handcrafted by isolated monks that pray good things for those kind souls who will purchase and wear the jewelry as they make it. (A little monk prayers never hurt anyone)

There are some things not on my list for this birthday that I am sure I will still get anyway. Like more wrinkles and less hair, and a greater need to ask people to repeat themselves.

It's not that I am losing my hearing from too many years of rock-n-roll. No it's not that. I find it harder to hear what others are saying because of one simple, irrefutable fact: the world is becoming a noisier place!

It is true that with all of today's new technologies blasting in our ears, it is harder to hear ourselves think. And for some of us, thinking is hard enough!

There are times I can't even hear my wife nag at me to accomplish her entire "Honey, Do" list. ("Honey, do this..." and "Honey, do that" etc, etc, ad infinutum) OK, so maybe that has nothing to do with a noisier world and more to do with the selective hearing I have perfected after so many years of marriage. But I still use "the noisy world theory" with my wife because it still works.

So between all the useless noise coming from all around (including my wife) I have decided there is only one thing to do.

Get noise-cancelling headphones for my birthday.

2004-02-22T20:48:00.000-05:00

No, I don't smoke. I never get that hot.

But truthfully folks...

I've never seen the draw in cigarette smoking (pun fully intended). I mean, I was almost sent to the hospital once for smoke inhalation. I don't think I'd want to do that on purpose!

But I can respect the smokers right to kill themselves slowly if they will pardon the fact that I BREAK WIND IN PUBLIC AND BLAME IT ON A BACKED UP SEWER. (Both being somewhat nasty habits)

But this entire nicotine infatuation has gotten clearly out of hand. I've known for a while about this smokeless tobacco designed to be used where toxic smoke is not allowed (only toxic spit).

I've heard about people who paste a patch on themselves when they begin to shake profusely from a lack of nicotine. I've heard of the pills, and the hypnotists that promise to cure you of all desire to smoke as they make you squawk like a chicken for the video tape he sent to the "America's Funniest Home Hypnotists" cable channel.

But this is completely out of hand... NICTINE WATER!?!

So now you can smoke it, pop it, suck it out of a pouch, chew it like gum, wear it, and DRINK IT. What next? Soon you can go into the bar and drink your cigarettes as you smoke a whiskey stick.

My biggest concern is that all of this breaks one cardinal rule of health. And that is this...

If its good for you it tastes bad (ex: tomato juice, lima beans, brussle sprouts).
If its bad for you it tastes good (ex: candy, cookies, cake).

But this stuff TASTES BAD and IS BAD for you! (That's just wrong)

So, next time your favorite cancer-stick-lover can't get away for a smoker's break, just hand them a cold bottle of nicotine. That should quench their addiction.

As far as I'm concerned I have just one thing to say...

Give me a break!

A NON-SMOKER"S BREAK!?!

2003-11-19T23:45:00.000-05:00

THANKS...

'Tis the season to give thanks!

Thanksgiving Day in America is a time to remember all the many blessings we have been given. (Sorry to our international readers, but this is OUR holiday! Get your own pilgrims.) There is so many blessings to be grateful for. But we sometimes take much for granted.

I, for one, have much to be thankful for. Like the fact it has been a whole year since last thanksgiving. This is not my feeble attempts at creating a 'Thanksgiving Scrooge'. But I find it hard to celebrate ANY holiday that always falls on a THURSDAY.

I mean, COME ON... EVERYBODY knows that all the GOOD holidays are on Mondays! Like Labor Day and Memorial Day and even Presidents Day. Whoever came up with a holiday on Thursday?

I know there are some holidays that you can't pin down to a certain day of the week like Christmas or July 4th, but don't worry... I'm working on that, too.

Now back to Thanksgiving, a holiday in the middle of the week just screws things up. What did Thursday ever do wrong to deserve this, anyway?

Now I know that KARIOKE was invented on a Thursday, but this criminal act should be overlooked not encouraged. Let the local bars do Thursday night karioke if they must, but let's not make it a National Holiday! (Besides, the rumor that the pilgrims and indians sang Beatles' songs at the first Thanksgiving dinner is simply a terrible urban legend)

I'm circulating a petition to make EVERY holiday fall on a Monday. See, nobody likes Mondays, anyway. (Rainy days and Mondays always get me down) Mondays do nothing but ruin a perfectly good weekend, so if we could come up with fifty-two national holidays... we'd have it made!

My vote is to make Thanksgiving the third Monday in November. No, wait! If Thanksgiving is officially the beginning of the Christmas rush... and since every year that rush gets more hustled and bustled... I've got a perfect solution!

Let's make thanksgiving some Monday in June...

That way maybe I'll get my shopping done before Christmas Eve!
.

2003-10-24T01:00:00.000-04:00

IT'S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR...

Time for falling leaves and apple cider and marshmallows roasting on an open fire. And Jack Frost nipping at your nose. Well, anyway, it's certainly time for Fall.

And it's time for the Fall Fun Night sponsored by the Church of Grace and Glory. I've been invited to play some old banjo tunes to help usher in the Winter season. (maybe this could be a tradition. Punksytauny Phil sees his shadow in the Spring, and I pick and grin in the Fall. I'll talk to the weatherman about that)

Anyway, it will be a cool night of fun and food for young children and old children (like me) either outdoors or in depending on the weather. And the church extends an invitation to you to come join in.

If you are interested in coming, email me for an invitation and directions at j_sanner@msn.com

If you do come, do me one favor...
...Don't drink TOO much apple cider...
...there are limited restrooms available.

2003-08-14T23:22:00.000-04:00

HERE IT IS!!

For all of you who check this blog on an hourly basis and then gripe to me by any means possible about how I don't always have a new post for you to read... I have something to say....

Get Over It!?! You are not the center of the universe. I AM! (so there)

Seriously, the intention of this blog is to keep everyone informed on the latest happenings with the music (recordings, concerts, NEW GROUPIES...sorry, did I say groupies? I didn't mean it, my dear wife) and also a place to rant about what is currently bugging me. (However I assume the rants are why some of you keep coming back for more - and you should be ashamed of yourselves.)

Expect now and in the future one or two or three or four posts per month (of various topics). That should be enough for any average GROUPIE (sorry, dear, that word again).

Besides, I take pride in providiing material that will keep you coming back. Hopefully to provide a little fun for your day. And the truth be known, I can not be this witty, charming, and good looking every hour of every day. (Well maybe I can be this good looking.)

And in closing may I state, that if YOU are not someone who keeps bugging me for new posts (be honest, you know if you are)...
...then please do not read this message (or if you have already read it, forget it).

2003-08-05T00:36:00.000-04:00

A MESSAGE FROM JACK"S WIFE

Hi, I am Tina, Jack's wife of 23 years (Although he says it's been "the best 18 years" of his life - Then I ask him "What about the other 5 years?" - He just smiles. - That's where I hit him in the head with the frying pan. He doesn't say that too much any more)

I just wanted to set the record straight on this blog by letting you all in on a little secret.

No one in our house, our neighborhood, our church, or among our friends believe a word Jack says. He has far too vivid of an imagination for his own good, and should rarely be taken seriously.

Therefore PLEASE do not write your congressman about ice cream (see previous post below). It will make us all look bad.

Thank You,
Tina

2003-08-04T23:58:00.000-04:00

CALL TO ACTION

This special report needs your quick response.
Write your congressman. Call your senator. Petition the president.
Tell your mother!
Time is running out
before I personally go insane, so please don't put this off!!

It has come to my attention that a serious atrocity has taken place in an important part of our food chain. I am sure you know full well about the major food groups, and the major food group we so lovingly call the "essential ice cream" group is currently under attack. It appears as if America's teenagers have learned the ice cream industry's dirty little secret (let me slow down, catch my breath, and continue).

I will start from the beginning.

I happen to live with teenagers (I don't know how it happened). These teens are a subversive bunch. They start off as innocent, cute little people (so cute you can't get rid of them until it is too late). Then all of a sudden they know everything, borrow your car, and invite other teenagers over to raid your fridge. (there ought to be a law)

Back to the conspiracy with ice cream...

See, when I was a teenager we ate American ice cream ...Vanilla, Chocolate, and for the adventuresome...Twist (which for the uninformed is one side vanilla the other side chocolate - Shameful!) We had none of this communist stuff like Cherry ripple oak bark flavored. Or Chocolate covered chocolate coated double chocolate with chocolate chunks and chocolate covered nuts and chocolate swirls. Back in the day even Ben and Jerry was eating plain chocolate (but knowing them, they probably lived on the wild side and experimented a little with Twist).

Hence the root of this complicated matter. It appears as if the teenagers in my house have discovered (through multiple fridge raidings) that today's ice cream specialties (the ones that include all stuff God never intended to be in ice cream) has a very sneeky and rather secretive swirl of all-the-good-stuff in the middle of each half gallon pack!?! ('If man were meant to eat funky ice cream.. he'd be born with...')

"So what?" you say? So listen!

Let's say a certain teenager (anyone will do) has just opened a carton of Cookies and Cream Ice Cream. IT IS NOW VERY CONVENIENT (if one's intention is to eat the cookies and leave the cream) to ingore the middle and ingnore the sides, and scoop from the cookie-packed ring that is distributed in an oval approximately 47.59 degrees off center (depending on the ice cream manufacturer).

"WHY?" you may ask, "Would American ice cream manufacturers stoop to such diabolical depths to ruin the lives of hard-working-ice-cream-loving parents who, after a hard and tiring day at an unfulfilling job (that they barely made it through unscathed but for the thought of some delicious Cookies and cream ice cream when they got home only to find cookieless cream in the freezer?)

OK, so I am venting. But my doctor says I must find proper ways to release the pent-up frustrations before my hair falls out (oops, too late).

But I do believe that after much thought (and at least eight half-gallons of research), I have finally figured out why our ice cream companies set us up by making it so easy for our teenagers to get all the good stuff before we even know the carton has been opened....

All of the American ice cream manufacturing plants are filled with teenager employees. (why else?)

2003-08-01T01:06:00.000-04:00

NEW STUFF TO BUY!

In my infinite wisdom I have recently created ANOTHER great way for you to spend your hard-earned-money.

All sorts of items commemorating our latest CD Let It Rain by the Pittsburgh Praise eXperience Festival Choir are available for your personal aquisition and subsequent enjoyment.

As most of you know, most songs on the CD were written by yours-truly, and I produced, performed, and sang lead vocals on many of the tracks. (yes, that is where i have been this whole last year!)

On the right side of this page you will find a link to the website and below it (taa daa!) the link to the cool stuff.

Now this stuff can't be found any where else (except for the cheap knock-offs sold by unscrupulous street merchants in Manhattan). Stuff includes apparel, housewares, hats, and bags and your support of these products would be a great encouragement to me. Proceeds also go to support the media department of the Church of Grace & Glory, executive producer of the recording.

Copies of the CD are not yet available online, but can be ordered by sending $19US (foreign orders add $3US additional shipping) to
Church of Grace and Glory
919 Fleming St
Coraopolis, PA USA 15108
(tell them the crazy guy sent you)

QUESTION: Where else can your get a Let It Rain wall clock, mousepad, or totebag?
ANSWER: NOWHERE but at our store (click the link marked "Purchase our stuff")

2003-07-30T21:46:00.000-04:00

THANKS, FOLKS!

What a great weekend of music & fun & new friends for Tina & I at the Venango Coon & Fox Club last weekend.

Thanks goes to The Stuart Family for allowing me to share the stage with them. They are a great Gospel singing family and are also hard to keep up with as a Bluegrass Gospel band. (I had to change my Dobro strings after playing with them) Thanks, Jenny, for all the hospitality and good food. You can invite me to eat at your bus anytime!

Thanks goes to Carl & Fern for the tireless work they put into this and so many other festivals. Your love of Bluegrass and Bluegrass people really shows through!

And thanks goes to the Venango County Coon and Fox Club (Franklin, PA) for having such a nice camping and music facility and for sponsoring this event every year. I pray you finally recover from those awful storms you saw before we came. Also thanks for making me a temporary member, even though I never ever tree-ed a coon or chased a fox by myself before! By the way, I meant to get one of your blue bluegrass hats, but forgot. Save me one, would you?

2003-07-25T05:46:00.000-04:00

LATEST NEWSLETTER PUBLISHED

The latest (& greatest) edition of the
SannerSongs (print) Newsletter
is now available. It has neet pictures and some silly stuff and some other stuff you can't hardly live without.

Hurry, hurry, step right up. Be the first on your block to paper your bird cage with one --- I MEAN -- read, cherish, and treasure one.

Email me on how you can get yours. Totally new content is included there that you won't find here or at the websites.

So, you can sit there wondering what's new in the newsletter or just break down and get one. They are also available at all live performances and a theatre near you.

2003-07-19T21:57:00.000-04:00

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE?
(and other important questions)

Now, some questions can't be answered by any one but yourself. Like...
Which leg do you put into your pants first? And...
What did you want to be before you grew up?
How did it turn out? (don't answer that one)
Are you sure you will go to Heaven when you die?

And then there are questions that only others can answer FOR you like...
Do you snore? "No... at least I've never HEARD me snore."

But then there are some questions that NOBODY can answer like ...
What is the meaning of life?
What could convince 50-something Arnold to appear naked in the T3 movie?
What exactly IS BOLOGNA?

I'll tell you, that bologna one really has me!

It is pretty clear that fruit grows on trees, vegetables grow on plants, beef grows on cows, and McDonalds fries grow in McDonald land. But where does Bologna grow? Herein is the mystery!

Come on folks, let's list the facts...
Ham = Pig
Hamburgers = Cow (I think they should be called cow burgers)
Lamb = Sheep
Venison = Deer
Fish = Fish
Rabbit = Rabbit
Turkey = Turkey
(everything else TASTES like CHICKEN)

But...
BOLOGNA = ??????

Now, I don't really care IF your BOLOGNA has a FIRST NAME or not... I'd still like to know where it comes from!

To me, this is truly baffling. A mystery, it is.
Mystery Meat.

2003-07-19T03:57:00.000-04:00

LIVE MUSIC UPDATE

Just a note for all you Bluegrass lovers...

I will be performing with my dobro guitar along with the Stuart Family (from Sugar Grove PA) at the Fox and Coon Club Bluegrass Festival on July 26 in Franklin PA. During the Stuart's Bluegrass set, I will also perform a song from my Willowridge Hill CD.

Unconfirmed, I may also have opportunity to perform a set of original material from all three CD's.

Anyway, my three CDs and the new Stuart Family CD will all be available there.

My hand really needs a good shaking so come on down and let me have it.

2003-07-19T03:41:00.000-04:00

MUSIC UPDATE

The Christmas CD "The Grace & Glory Of Christmas" is now in recording. This CD is produced by ME as a public service medium for the Church of Grace & Glory, Coraopolis, PA. We are expecting to distribute around a thousand copies in Nov. & Dec 2003 as the church members primarily give them to friends and family as holiday gifts (cool!).

The CD will include around six songs (mostly familiar seasonal selections performed in untraditional arrangements) performed by members of the G&G worship team. Included will be at least one original song I have written.

Release Date: 11-9-03 by The Church of Grace & Glory
http://on.to/GraceAndGlory

2003-07-19T02:46:00.000-04:00

It's been YEARS in the making...
Finally the SannerSongs Blog is here (applause!)

Having this forum to express my inner most feelings and to share my secret most desires and emotions with the world touches me deeply. (actually I just said that because that's the sappy kind of dribble I think your supposed to say. Now that we got that sissy emotional stuff out of the way ...)

I'm tired! No, I mean it. I'm tired!

Not just tired of the endless hype before every Disney movie. Not just tired of all the late night infomercials that can make ANYTHING look like it's worth four-easy-payments-of-$29.95. Not just tired of the same cable news networks talking to the same old losers day after day squawking about the same old political agendas with the same silly grins on their faces.

No I'm tired of REALITY! (That's right, REALITY!)

Reality stinks!
Reality is how we have to work day after day to make ends meet.
Reality is about how tough it is to develop and keep pure and honest relationships with those around us.
Reality is about getting the nerve to face the challenges of daily living.

To tell the truth...
I'm not sick of THAT reality. (That's just reality), I'm sick of...
R E A L I T Y . . . T E L E V I S I O N !!!

I mean if I have to LIVE with reality, at least I could ESCAPE reality by watching TV! But NO! Today it's hard to switch channels without seeing other people's problems. Who needs that?

Look, I work hard NOT to live in some dumpy trailer park, OK?

I mean, I didn't chose to live in one house with twelve perfect strangers and fourty two hundred video cameras!

Come On, I raised my son to be smarter that to let some studio audience pick whom he will marry!

And no daughter of mine is going to eat any of those choice mammal body parts!

Call me crazy but I think we need a nice dose of UNREALITY TV.

I am SO in the mood for the Beverly Hillbillies right now.
(we miss you, Buddy)